I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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