you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
