My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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