We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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