Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
