he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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