I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
