you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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