my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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