Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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