We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
