weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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