but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
