This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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