When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
