they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
