you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Randomize
