I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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