I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
