the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
there is puke in my bra ... again
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