Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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