If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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