I want to stick my p in your. b.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just had sex on a roof
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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