i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
