If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
