Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
