How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
