Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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