I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
