I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
