Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
