so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he fucked my hip out of place.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
