Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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