I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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