my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
