he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
