office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize