I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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