When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
