hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize