He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
