Im at strip club and am horny
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
