Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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