i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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