Need sex. Gaining weight.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
