ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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