remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
