They should really pass out barf bags in church
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
