I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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