That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
