Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize