I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
